Investigation / 6 min read
Out of order: inside the machine that eats your dollar
There are 11,874 Sprunk machines in three states. We went looking for the ones that work.
Every Sprunk machine starts its life the same way: unboxed at the depot in Tudor, plugged in, filled with 240 cold cans and given a small handwritten sign that says Sorry, Out of Order. The sign ships in the box. It saves time.
We spent a week driving between machines in Vice City, Los Santos and Liberty City to find out what the other 62 percent are doing. The answer is mostly eating dollars. One machine on the Vice City causeway has eaten an estimated 4,000 of them and returned a single can of Sprunk Light, which the customer described as 'warm, but spiritually'.
The machine at the hospital
Staff at Pillbox Hill Medical Center in Los Santos told us their machine is the most reliable in the city. Nobody can explain this. Engineers have opened it three times and found only cans, a coin mechanism and a small photo of a dog.
It has never once been out of order. We don't touch it. We don't talk about it.
What we're doing about it
Starting this winter every new machine in Leonida takes cards, phones and exact change, and will display a friendly message when it keeps your money. We think that's progress. Our lawyers think it's an admission. Both teams are drinking Fuel+ about it.
Sprunk Stories is published by The Sprunk Company, Tudor, Alderney. Everything here is true in the sense that we wrote it down.
